Mercedes' Dirge Page 8

  He ran his hands through his hair and leaned his head back and sighed. “That was beyond embarrassing.” She couldn’t find the right words to reply so he continued, quelling the awkward beat. “That was so awful on so many levels. I don’t even know where to start.”

  He pushed forward in an emotional display. “Why the fuck do I do this to myself?”

  She stared ahead, focusing on flower bed illuminated in silvery sheen from the full moon. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “Why do you?”

  “I love her. I can’t help it. She has me out of my head. I can’t seem to let her go, and I don’t want to.” He shook his head. “I’m pathetic, I know.”

  “You aren’t pathetic. She’s just terrible to you, and you’re too nice. I’m in shock as to how she just treated you.” Ella spat harshly.

  “At the same time, she’s right, you know. She did warn me that she wouldn’t be faithful. She said she wouldn’t love anyone else, but would not deny herself sex if she wanted it. She even encouraged me to do the same. I guess I assumed I could change it. Obviously, I can’t.” He admitted.

  “Obviously not, I guess it all falls onto whether or not you want to accept it.”

  “I can’t. I get almost violent at the thought of someone else touching her. I don’t even know who I am with her. She makes me insane.” He confessed, his hands gripping his thighs tightly. “And to think she wants me to do the same. It makes me sick.”

  “Do you?” Ella said half under her breath.

  Nick was pulled out of his rage to stare at her. “Do I what, Ella?”

  She quivered at the sound of her name on his lips. “Do you do stuff with other girls?”

  “I haven’t.” He told her, as he stared curiously into her eyes.

  “Well, she’s lucky.”

  “Why’s that?” He questioned intensely as his eyes continued to meet hers.

  “Well, you could have anyone. You’re pretty perfect.” Warmth spread like a fire storm up her neck and into her cheeks.

  She held his gaze bravely as his hand trailed up her arm, sending a shiver down her neck and to all the wrong places. It rested on the back of her neck beneath her hair. He stroked her lightly, causing goosebumps to erect on her skin and her nipples to constrict under the thin fabric of her camisole.

  “You’re beautiful, Ella.” He whispered, running his fingers up to her scalp.

  “I can’t believe you’re saying that. Just look at your girlfriend.”

  “I do look at her, but so do plenty of others. She is beautiful, but so are you.” He told her solemnly.

  “Not like that.” She told him truthfully, shaking her head.

  “Once you get to a certain level of pretty, does it matter anymore? You’re nice, too. Authentic.” Their faces seemed to get imperceptibly closer with each word. “Do you like me, Ella?”

  “Yes. I wish you weren’t with her.” She told him as he closed in and their lips brushed. Her body rushed with nearly electric excitement at the delicate touch, willing it to more.

  He stayed with his lips barely touching hers as he spoke. “I want you.”

  “I want you.” She replied as he suddenly and hungrily began kissing her. She was overcome with the intense passion of it as his lips searched hers eagerly and she met his fervor. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, taking in his heat and masculine scent. Her breasts pushed into him and she could feel him hardening on her thigh. She moaned softly at what she’d inspired in him as she started to urge him off of the porch and onto the grass with her.

  Before they moved further they heard the door open heavily and slowly. Instinctively they flew apart and Ella looked up with panic swirling in her eyes. Mercedes stood there with an impassive expression. It was impossible to tell what she had seen and the not knowing made the scarlet letter burning on her forehead in her mind scorch even more.

  “There you are, Nick.” She smiled at Ella. “Hi, Ella.”

  “Hi,” Ella said cautiously.

  “Are you coming to bed, Nick?” She said holding the door open, by way of inviting him inside.

  Nick shook his head and stood up quickly. “No, I need to leave.” He patted Ella on the hand and gave her a meaningful glance. “Bye, Ella.”

  She couldn’t even form a response, and didn’t have long to try as he left immediately after that. Mercedes stayed on the porch as he drove away and turned her gaze to Ella. Amazingly there was no hostility marinating there, only genuine warmth.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, Ella. And I’m sorry you had to see that scene earlier.” She offered, eyes cast down.

  Ella stood up wondering if Mercedes had any idea what she had actually interrupted. “It’s ok.”

  Mercedes followed her inside and they parted ways at the stairs. “Goodnight.” She called out.

  Ella returned the sentiment and walked to the downstairs guest room in a daze, her mind was awash with conflicting emotions. She was still turned on and exhilarated from their encounter but felt utter shame at the timing of it and the clandestine feel of Mercedes coming onto the porch. Five more minutes and there would have been no hiding what they were doing.

  Ella considered marching up to Mercedes’ room and telling her what had happened. It would be awkward, but if there were ever a night where she should ever have to take it as well as dish it out, it would be tonight. Ella remained seated on the bed and told herself not to be so rash. For all she knew, Mercedes could have very well seen them, and just didn’t care. After all, she had encouraged Nick to go outside of the relationship as well.

  She suddenly remembered the impassioned look in his eyes, filled with desire in those moments before they kissed. She felt her body begin to react again at the memory of it. She felt feverish with longing, for the passion had been a fulfillment of what she had wanted for so long, but she’d wanted more. She’d never wanted someone so badly and she was aching with it. She finally decided that Nick would have to be the one to tell Mercedes, if he wanted anything else from Ella or if he felt the need to tell the truth.

  She wanted desperately for Nick to see the hopelessness of his situation with Mercedes and finally leave her. Ella knew she suited him so much better. But maybe it was she who should confront the hopelessness of her own situation. She was smart enough to know that if she were waiting for Nick, she may be waiting for a long time. She would have to be a fool to bet against Mercedes, even if she were betting on herself.

  Chapter 11

  Ella woke the next morning knowing that she had to do what she had told herself she would not. She had to see Nick. There was no way around it. Only he knew what went down between himself and Mercedes the night she died.

  Ella had reminisced deep into the night about her brief moment with Nick. Even after all these years, she felt a flash of embarrassment at Nick’s spurning in the days and weeks following.

  Mercedes and Nick had made up within days and Ella’s door prize had been a simple, ham-handed apology from Nick. A quick, emotionless chat at a safe distance in the Tavares kitchen. He’d essentially wanted to pretend it had never happened, after atoning for having lost control of himself, as he put it. It had cut Ella down to her core. Now the rejection boiled up out of her cruelly as though it had happened the day before.

  Ella had never been the same with Nick after, though it must have only been a few months between their transgression and Mercedes’ death. Ella hadn’t seen him in person since her murder. He’d been banned from the funeral and her only glimpses of him had been on the news, but even then the last story she’d seen on him was a decade ago. He’d looked so defeated and crestfallen, with reporters following him around. The case had garnered even more attention because of the beauty and wealth of the teenagers involved and Ella had been relieved and surprised to not see any sort of TV movie on the case, though a technically unsolved murder didn’t lend much in the way of an ending.

  The day loomed ahead of her, with Bryan as a bright spot at the end. She had to admit th
at she was looking forward to their meeting, but a good dose of scared anticipation mixed with her surprising ardor.

  She took a shower and washed her hair and added a shave into that, even though she told herself that it was not in expectation of anything.

  “You will not sleep with him…or even make out with him.” She told herself sternly. “This is an amateur murder investigation and you are an amateur rebounder on top of that.” She didn’t generally carry on conversations with herself, but this seemed like a good time to reaffirm her intentions, in case her lower half wasn’t in tune with her brain. It had been a very long time since she’d done anything with a man, and the feelings that he had summoned in her during their brief meeting were almost unrecognizable at this point.

  As she prepared to go downstairs she became nervous. She had forgotten that she had left her relationships with both her roommates in flux. She hadn’t exactly fought with Alexa, but the situation was worrying just the same. Troy was her brother, and they would always fight and makeup, but in this instance she did feel as though she were doing something slightly inappropriate and it heaped embarrassment into the cocktail of other feelings involved.

  She was surprised to see that the house was empty and found herself moderately relieved to not have to deal with either one of the situations. She threw herself into her work and continued to clean out Mercedes’ room. As she was contemplating whether or not to clean off the vanity, she began to hear the now familiar thudding coming from the attic. Her stomach jumped at the onset of it and she sat down on the bed to see if it would end abruptly as it had the night before. The thumping continued and gained intensity and volume and the insistence of it frightened her deeply.

  When she had gone up before, nothing had happened, yet she was still loathe to repeat the process. Rationally she told herself that at least it would be naturally light up there now. In the same train of thought she told herself that maybe Mercedes just wanted to be heard and there was no real significance to the attic. As the thought passed through her head, the thudding became a deep wallop. Finally Ella shot up off the bed where she’d been sorting old papers and headed out the door.

  “I’m coming!” She yelled foolishly.

  Her steps became more timid as she approached the foreboding stairs once again. She took a deep breath and opened the door. It was not nearly as light as she had hoped for, as the window was rather small, and she found herself desperately feeling for the light switch again. It clicked on and the noise stopped. She stepped into the room and was again faced with nothing but a completely still attic. She steeled herself and walked directly into the middle of the room, careful not to trip on the various file boxes littering the floor. As soon as she had slowed her steps and looked around, she noticed a wall that seemed like it could be directly on top of her bedroom. It was covered in picture frames that appeared to be mainly of Mercedes with friends and family alike.

  Ella jumped with a frightened bleat as a frame suddenly fell off the wall and shattered onto the floor, aided by no visible disturbance. She looked around cautiously and when she spied no apparition slowly walked to the frame. It was a picture of Mercedes with Mira, Alexa, Nick and her parents. She hurriedly picked it up and turned it over and was both surprised and disappointed that there was nothing hidden there. She looked around where the picture had fallen and saw nothing.

  “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, Mercedes. Are you just trying to get my attention?” The answer was silence and so Ella felt she had no choice but to exit. She briefly thought about cleaning up the glass, but knew she did not have the nerve to bend over for that amount of time in the creepy attic. She would have Troy go up with her later to handle that aspect.

  It was approaching late afternoon, and after her latest experience she felt as though she couldn’t possibly continue cleaning in that room. She decided to gather her makeup, clothes and hair products and get ready down in the box-packed guest bedroom.

  She perused her limited clothing selection and was immediately distraught that she hadn’t gone shopping for something new to wear. Her wardrobe was fraught with jeans, sweaters, and a few tops for casual bar nights. She had nothing appropriate for the occasion at hand. Her eyes briefly strayed over to the box of Mercedes’ old clothes but she shook her head furiously at even entertaining the thought and went back to hunting through her own wardrobe. There was no way she would drive in Mercedes’ car to meet Mercedes’ friend to talk about her while wearing her clothes.

  She came across a dress that she had all but forgotten about, and couldn’t even remember packing. It was not ideal, as she had originally bought it for a raucous bachelorette party years back, meaning it was tight, black and too low cut. But, she knew it was extremely flattering to her figure and realized it was really her only feasible option. Unless she wanted to don her dust fighting yoga pants costume, it would have to do. She shrugged and pulled it off the rack and gathered the rest of her stuff and headed downstairs.

  She decided to add a long beaded necklace. She realized she wasn’t sure if it would detract or attract gazes to her cleavage and decided she wasn’t really too concerned and continued to apply her makeup carefully and then she curled her hair into loose waves. She spritzed herself with her favorite perfume and took her reflection in. She was suitably pleased. The dress really hugged her best assets and her shiny auburn hair rested onto her shoulders alluringly, and her azure eyes peeked out from below thick eyelashes. Her tasteful makeup completed the look, with her glossy heart shaped lips rounding it out.

  With spotty traffic, it took her nearly a half an hour to make it to her destination and as she exited the car she remembered that she hadn’t worn high heels in some time, and had to reign in her walk so that she didn’t resemble a lame colt in the large and rocky parking lot.

  She reached the restaurant which was a large, gaudy building that was adorned with large tiki heads and had a Polynesian flair. The inside was considerably more tasteful, not that she didn’t enjoy the kitschy décor. She found him in the bar, sitting casually at a small table that faced the wraparound window that served as a wall, with a sweeping view of the ocean and San Diego skyline.

  He glanced her way and rose to meet her. “Hello, Ella. You look radiant.”

  She had never received that compliment from someone under the age of 65 and found it charming. “Thank you.” She said as she sat down after his casual kiss on the cheek.

  “This is gorgeous.” She said as she scanned the view.

  “I agree. They also have the best Mai Tais in town.” He said as he smiled at the waiter, encouraging him over.

  “I can’t see you drinking Mai Tais, Bryan.” She said with a small smile.

  He cocked his head at her. “Certainly you don’t see me as a beer drinker.”

  “No, definitely not. I would guess wine or, I don’t know, Absinthe.”

  He leaned in. “Well, certainly wine, but these are not your normal Mai Tais. They aren’t fruity. They are unbelievably strong and people generally share them and still can’t finish them.”

  “Now that,” she said meeting his lean in, “I will believe when I see.”

  The waiter arrived and she smiled up and asked for two Mai Tais, causing Bryan to put his hands up in warning.

  “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, dear.”

  “I’ve been told not to ever say this…but what’s the worst that can happen?”

  “I don’t know, I was thinking of the best that could happen.” His eyes sparkled, as his lips curved into a grin.

  “Where do you live?” He asked, after observing her fiercely blushing cheeks.

  “In La Jolla.”

  “That’s a bit far for girls imbibing potent tropical beverages.” He said, cocking an eyebrow.

  “There are always cabs.” She told him.

  “There are always hotel rooms.” He retorted.

  She had no answer for that one and he smiled broadly. “Don’t worry, I can
get you one of your own.”

  “It won’t happen. Not with a wussy Mai Tai.” At that moment the waiter brought the drinks that were complete in a tiki mug and spears of cherries and pineapple. She gave him a pointed look that made clear that the presentation of the beverage only supported her statement. He nodded eagerly for her to take a sip.

  She smiled wryly and daintily took a drink. She nearly spit it out. It was clearly about five kinds of rum with a float of almond syrup and maybe a splash of pineapple for a tease. She coughed and couldn’t help but scrunch up her face. “Holy fuck.” She stated indelicately.

  He laughed boisterously. “I speak only the truth.”

  “Do you come here often? If so, you must be taking cabs regularly.”

  “I don’t come here all that much, but I do reserve a suite a stroll up the water if I do.” He told her matter of factly.

  Ella briefly recalled Mira telling her that Bryan was pretty well off. She knew that the rapport building would never organically segue to the subject of Mercedes, and decided to move forward to her original motive for contact, before she was too impaired.

  “Do you mind telling me what your relationship with Mercedes was?”

  He crossed his arms and leaned back. “Maybe in a bit,” he smiled charmingly at her. “But first, let’s talk about you. Have you been in town the last ten years?”

  As she sipped her Mai Tai she gave him an extremely brief rundown of life after high school. He didn’t seem to care in the least about her divorce.

  “How long have you been single?” He inquired.

  “Only about six months, you?”

  “We were good friends.” He said suddenly, without answering her question.

  Ella tried not to miss a beat, when she realized he’d begun talking about Mercedes. “Did you guys sleep together?”

  “My, that Mai Tai must be kicking in,“ he laughed. “That’s quite a forward question so early in the evening.” He observed, though he didn’t actually seem bothered by it.